Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
