I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
