I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
