God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
