I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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