I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
