My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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