So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
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Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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