Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
