i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
