watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
