let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
