Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
