Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
