Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
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