I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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