...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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