this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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