Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Randomize
