He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
