I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
3pm strippers are depressing
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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