we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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