I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
