I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
