is your mom at the bar?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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