just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I have post one night stand depression
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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