i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
