Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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