i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Congratulations! We have a period
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize