Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
