White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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