OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize