I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
