don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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