I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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