when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize