You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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