My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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