Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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