Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
