My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Will exercising make me less horny?
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