Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
