no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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