he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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