normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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