Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
