I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
