I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
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he has the hands of the vagina gods.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
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I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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