So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
