When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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