U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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