Barsexuality is the new black.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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