Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
