I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
