Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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