just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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