So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
