apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
