i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
