I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
