hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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