Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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