If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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