i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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