I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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